Here I Come To Save The Day

Walk into my house at any particular point in time and you may trip over doggy toys while the dogs are running around your feet trying to pull on pants or skirt.  While my house is clean, the dogs are like little children who don't pick up after themselves.

I never thought I would have one dog let alone two.  The way it got around to this arrangement went something like this.

About 4 years ago my man Ed decided he was going to stop drinking for health reasons.  Good enough.  But I was concerned about the way he was going about it.  Keep in mind, this is after 44 years of drinking and smoking.  One day, he walked up to me and said, "I don't want a fuss about it but I just decided to stop drinking beer.  When I did, the cigarettes didn't taste so good so I stopped smoking and coffee, too". 

This came from a man who would put away a case of beer in a day and a half while smoking his menthols one after another.

All I could do was freeze, eyes wide, mouth dropping open and think, "there goes my Eddie".

Well, there went my Eddie.  Within a week he was a basket case.  I told him he was worse than a woman who was always menstruating.  I had no idea what he was going through but I wished he would go through it with help, like AA.  He wouldn't hear of it.

Many people said it was GREAT that he was doing this.  I didn't think so.  While Ed drank he was the sweetest, most laid-back, helpful, fun, hard-working man I ever laid eyes on. 

All that changed when he stopped drinking.  Sure it was good for his health.  He began working out for about 4 hours daily which was really good but I realized that he just traded obsessions.  He went from drinking to working out, and something else happened.  He became the meanest, cruelest, empty, non-talkative shell of a man.  He dropped all of his old friends in such a short time that we all just stood around wondering what the heck happened to him.  By this time I was literally begging him to get some help.  He never did.  He said it wasn't about me or anyone else, he just didn't know how to 'get back'. 

I knew what he was talking about.  His 'heart' had closed completely and he couldn't feel anything.  It worried him.  All the years of covering up the tremendous hurt he harbored from a lifetime of hurt came bubbling to the surface when he no longer had the alcohol to cover it up but now he didn't know how to handle that hurt.  His heart was closed and nothing was working to open it again.

After living with Ed for 3 years with him in this 'closed, empty, dead man walking' state, it began to wear me down.  I went to a Sun Ceremony and Grandmother Parisha asked me how I was doing.  I told her about Ed and she said, 'why do you stay?'  I just looked at her and told her that I couldn't leave someone who hurt that much.  She just looked at me and didn't say anything but I knew she understood.

Within the month I had this voice in my head telling me to 'get a dog'.  The conversation went like this:
Voice in head:  "Get a Dog"
Me responding:  "I don't want a dog"
Voice in head: "Get a Dog"
Me: "I don't want a dog"
Voice in head: "Get a Dog"
Me: "Too much work"
Voice in head: "Get a Dog"
Me:  "I don't have time for a dog"
Voice in head: "Get a Dog"
Me:  If I'm supposed to have a dog it will just walk up to my door!"
Voice in head:  "Get a Dog"

The voice in my head was Grandmother and I knew it and I kept up with the denials that I could ever have a dog while she just kept up with the fact that I could use a dog.  This 'conversation' kept up until I began, against my will and 'better' judgement to begin looking for a dog.  The comedy of the situation would later make me laugh.

When I finally got a dog it was a little 2 lb. puppy, the smallest I could find but the cutest little thing in the form of a Yorkie/Poo whom I named Romeo.  I figured that men had let me down so I'd just revert to living with a four-legged Romeo and he fits his name.  He is a little lover.

My daughter couldn't believe I got a dog so she packed up her son Ian who was 6 months old at the time and brought him down to see the little thing.

We were all in the family room, laughing to tears at the antics of the puppy and my grandchild when Ed walked into the room from his self-imposed exile in the living room to see what all the ruckus was about.  He asked 'what's going on?'  Then when he saw the puppy, he said, "is that a dog?"  I said it was.  He then said, "whose dog is it?"  I said, "it's mine".  He turned away and I heard him complaining under his breath and every other word was "PUPPY!"  He was angry.

Until the next day when the little two-pounder looked up at his 6' frame and the man's heart melted.  It took the puppy all of two minutes to capture the man's heart and pull it back out of the void it had been lost in.  Ed was smitten with little Romeo.  Over the course of the last year the man has come to worship little Romeo and Romeo is certainly Ed's dog.  It was hysterical the amount of love and attention that went into this little four-legged fur-ball by this tall, imposing character that I live with.  We both agreed to get little Romeo another dog for him to play with so I went out and got Valentino, half brother to Romeo.  They are an absolute joy and Ed actually laughs a lot these days. 

When I spoke with Grandmother I said I had heard and she said, "yes, all is well". 

Thank you Grandmother Parisha.  You knew that only a dog could have done for this man what this little one did for Ed.  Your wisdom saved this man's life and brought him back from the underworld.  I thank you with all my heart.